why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
