How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize