things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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