Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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