garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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