Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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