I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
