drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize