whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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