I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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