I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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