do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
