i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
