This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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