Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i came on her dog
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
