Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
