It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Less talking, more tequila
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The uberlube is also flammable
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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