it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize