He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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