Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
