Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
