so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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