My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
