He is an equal opportunity slut.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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