In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
