so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
