Me too!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
