Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
