thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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