Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am midnight drunk by noon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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