"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
