yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
