So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
