I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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