He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
