I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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