You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
