My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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