Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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