i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
