I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
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you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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