so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
