I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
