Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
