Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize