I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
