in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Come share oat with me in your robe
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
