did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
