I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
