I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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