ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
