if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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