whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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