i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
