her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
