a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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