I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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