i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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